The paths of silence

Humans are endowed with reason and capable of producing meaningful discourse. Our speech reflects our humanity, and words are what anchor the relationships we have with ourselves and with others. However, the value of speech is not perceived the same way by everyone, which can hinder the quality of dialogue. We don't use language to speak without saying anything or without consciously appreciating the impact of the words we utter. Expressing, sharing, listening, arguing, resolving – these are actions performed through language, just like physical actions such as walking, embracing, driving, or cooking. Therefore, when silence replaces the effectiveness of words, its essence must be measured by the cause of its emergence.

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Means, end in itself, deadlock, or act of wisdom?

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There are silences that wound, acting as indirect but devastating forms of domination and manipulation. Such silences are used strategically and premeditatedly to provoke emotions in others. But what is most violent when silence is used as a weapon against another is the sense of erasure and rejection felt by the recipient, coupled with the denial of healthy communication and a valid relationship.

Then there are silences that reflect a quest for peace and security, like a call to withdraw, when one's words fail to reach the other. At such times, silence becomes a natural response to protect the remnants of fractured dignity and to reconsider the state of the relationship, be it personal, familial, friendly, professional, or otherwise. This silence is not intended to hurt others; it is a breath of dignity and a reassertion of self-respect. Maintaining silence at that moment is an open stance that creates space for reflection on the state/quality of the exchange and the relationship in general.

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‍The Paths of Silence

- First moment. "Silence within Language"

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‍When silence binds itself to language through the space it occupies between words, it becomes imperceptible, representing only the anticipation of what will follow in the temporal space of discourse. It is part of the flow of speech and holds no significant meaning beyond what is dictated by the words it contains. It pauses the narrative while adhering to its rules and the speaker's requirements.  

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- Second moment. "Silence Beyond Language"

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To shed words. To say nothing. To remain silent is to withdraw from the space of dialogue. This silence offers no direction and has no real destination. It is a form of denial of speech without, however, stripping it of the privilege of expressiveness. It is a "full void" open to interpretation and all kinds of emotional, psychological, and rational associations. It lends itself to all sorts of identification, as it represents the non-being of speech, discourse, and dialogue. Thus, when nothing is affirmed, everything becomes reflection, internalization. This generates anxiety and misunderstanding, as Reason struggles to manage "states" that remain open-ended. We think a story is over when everything is said, but when something remains unexplained, the story continues to unfold. Nevertheless, this break operating outside of discourse has two faces:

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• the one who dictates silence as a means to suppress exchange in order to harm others while excluding them from the space of dialogue, and
• the one who seeks silence as an end in itself, representing emotional and psychological completeness that strives for inner peace, a strong reminder of one's humanity. 

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Therefore, if silence is used as a means and with the intent to harm others, regardless of the context, it constitutes an act of emotional abuse. Conversely, if silence is chosen as the ultimate recourse to safeguard human dignity, it reflects a turning inward aimed at rebuilding the foundation of one's dignity without the intention of eliciting reactions from others.

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- Third moment. "Silence Before Language"

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Everything that exists before language is merely source, origin, possibility. It is becoming in its impetus before any material actualization. It is the silence before the creation of the self, the appropriation of one's presence, one's individuation. This silence creates our inner self which, connected to the Soul of the world, healthily goes out to meet others. The fermentation of one's own becoming in this original silence reminds us that relationships are not the recognition of a lack of completeness, but the promise of co-creation. 

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What Silence Told Me

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Through my silence, I stop fighting, not out of surrender but out of clarity. The silent clarity of my stance indicates protection and acceptance, that of letting things reveal themselves. Silence at that moment is not an emotional trick. It is a presence that demands nothing; no answer, no explanation. It arises naturally after events, without becoming a cold and punitive tool. There is nothing left to react to, only to feel. It is then that something changes in the invisible field of the relationship; a quiet strength that readjusts the elements of the context and redirects the threads of the story. It is then that silence calls for an internal movement, for the rebirth of the dialogue that was broken with oneself in the effort to be heard or considered by others. Silence is not a weapon of war used to reassure the weakness of those who choose emotional manipulation over a presence within discourse; it is a receptacle that holds the secret of peace, allowing time for connections to re-establish and truths to emerge. It is an act of wisdom in its fullest expression, rejecting all emotional dependence at the expense of respecting one's own existence. But this silence is not definitive, for it nurtures and prepares the words to come in conditions respectful of humanity for all concerned. In the era of "ghosting," which distorts and abuses the nobility of words through the violence of unspoken things, perhaps it is time to rediscover the lost truth of Love; to re-establish the silence of this magic in the making.

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